Well folks, I am 32 years old today… and I’m not gonna lie, I don’t know what to think about it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super excited to enjoy enjoy a quiet day at home with my two loves, followed by dinner (and ice cream!) out with Adam. My family also came downtown to celebrate with me on Thursday (because my brother was in town!) and yesterday I re-read my 30 Things I Learned Before 30 post, along with everything I wrote about turning 31. And I think any of those weird feelings are coming from the fact that I just don’t always feel like I am what people expect from a 32 year old woman. Or what I expected from myself at 32 years old.
But then I remembered. Timelines are BS.
I talked about it when I turned 30. I talked about when I turned 31. And friends, after a deep breath and a quick listing of everything I’m grateful for, I know for certain that IT IS STILL TRUE.
I recently heard someone talking about how they don’t agree with people who wait to have kids. It’s hard not to internalize that a little – I am 32 now. Even though we aren’t going to be married for another year, it’s nearly impossible to avoid all of the unnecessary “clock is ticking” input. But I took a sip of my wine and let it slide off my back. Because even if that person wouldn’t want to trade shoes with me, we’re not all meant to have the same lives.
We’re not all meant to have the same lives.
Some people know what they want to do for the rest of their lives as soon as they land their first job. Others meet their person at a young age and start a family. Some don’t want a family! I personally didn’t meet (or re-meet ?) Adam until I was nearly 29. I didn’t start making real money that allowed me to stop obsessively budgeting every penny until a few years before that. And I didn’t really start loving myself, in a real, unconditional, push-myself-to-be-better-every-day kind of way until I moved to Chicago (and started this blog) nearly 7 years ago.
And now, at 32, I love my life. It’s not perfect and I still have a lot to work on… but don’t we all? I could beat myself up for typos in email blasts (literally happened yesterday ?), or for not having the perfect body, for not buying property yet… or anything else that I might have previously thought I should have mastered by now. But my life led me to a wonderful fiance, the cutest dog ever, my own business, the ability to travel, a great relationship with my family members, and best friends who have been by my side for over a decade. I’m going to go ahead and call those wins.
So this birthday, I’m thankful for what my 32 looks like. It might look differently than your 32 or that other person’s 32, and that’s okay. And if you’ve ever had those unsettling feelings around age or birthdays, I challenge you to throw out any pre-conceived notions about what you think your life should look like. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be ❤️
*Also, thank you to all of the veterans out there, as well as family members who have lost loved ones serving our country. It is because of you that I even have the privilege to contemplate what it means to get older. Thinking about all of you today.