Goodbye Apartment | Why I’m Glad I Lived By Myself
It’s funny. Besides my childhood home, I’ve never really felt sad about moving. Sure, it was weird when college ended. And yes, it was hard to leave New York City when the time came. But yesterday I moved out of my home for the past 5 years, and it’s been a surreal experience.
I know that the time is right. I love my new apartment (it looks so pretty already!). And I’m SO excited to be living with Adam – to get to start and end every day with him. No more shuffling my stuff back and forth between our two places! Tons of space! In unit washer and drier! This is, without a doubt, a great move and I’m SO excited to get settled into this new home together.
But as I stood in my empty apartment on Monday, I couldn’t help but get a little emotional. I remember the day I moved in like it was yesterday… but it also feels like a million years ago. I had just turned 26, and so much of me was still very lost. I had lived in a studio up in Lakeview on Lake Shore Drive (hence Lake Shore Lady!) for about a year after moving back from NYC, but this was a serious upgrade. Deep down, I think I knew that this is where I was going to figure my shit out. And I did.
When I first moved in, I was still hanging on to a relationship with my college boyfriend. He had just moved from New York to L.A. – aka nowhere near Chicago. My scared self was holding out hope that we’d figure something out, until I started to realize I didn’t want to convince him to be with me. So I started falling in love with Chicago instead. And I fell hard ?
Being right in the heart of Old Town got me out of my apartment, saying yes to blogger events, meeting new friends, going for walks on the lakefront, exploring more neighborhoods, trying new fitness classes. My brother and sister-in-law moved in 2 blocks away, and started inviting me out with their friends whenever they were on Wells Street. And I’d go! Why sit at home and be sad when I could be starting and enjoying a new Chicago chapter?
Beyond that, this apartment became the set for many life events. It’s where my friend Caroline and I talked through our dating debacles. In the time I lived here, my friend Kaitlin moved to Chicago for a few months, then back to New York, then BACK to Chicago (and now she’s my new neighbor!). It’s seen our other best friend’s visits, from before they were married to baby bumps. And I can’t even tell you how many times my sister-in-law Ali popped in to pick something up/drop something off, and end up staying for an hour chatting on my couch. This was my single girl home. My Carrie Bradshaw apartment.
This is also the place where Lake Shore Lady became what it is today. This was LSL’s headquarters! Where I got up way too early and/or stayed up way too late with some Netflix show streaming while I edited photos and wrote blog posts on my couch. This is where I hustled to turn this little blog into my career.
But perhaps even more sentimental than that… this is where I learned how to love myself. Sounds cheesy, I know. But this really is where I learned to be proud of myself in a REAL way. This is where I learned that you can’t make someone love you the way you want them to. I figured out what I really want and what was no longer serving me on so many levels. After all, this was where I finally let go of pursuing an acting career. Did I love it once upon a time? Yes. Did I want to seek the validation of someone else every day of my life? No, I really didn’t.
And finally, this is where I learned to push myself farther than I thought I could go. That applies physically – through yoga teacher training at Corepower Yoga + Flywheel, Orangetheory, solidcore, etc. A non-athletic girl like me usually solely stuck to yoga classes and the elliptical – look at me now! But that point also applies mentally. I don’t think I ever thought I was capable of creating my own business from scratch – let alone doing it while juggling another job. I surprised myself here. And I feel so much gratitude for every circumstance that turned that lost 26 year old girl into the successful 31 year old woman you see today.
I keep typing that this move is bittersweet, but I know that it’s far more sweet than bitter. The best is yet to come. Adam and I have been talking about being “roomies” for so long now – and this new place already feels like home. But for my own closure, I knew I needed to let myself feel a little sad about this chapter coming to an end. This was an extremely substantial and influential 5 years of my life. Sometimes you have to let yourself feel those weird bittersweet feelings in order to recognize those lessons learned, so that you don’t forget them. Change is scary, but it’s also transformative. After all, the proof is within these walls.
xo,
Lauren
July 24, 2018 @ 10:03 pm
This post so perfectly captures what I also felt when I moved out of my single girl “lady lair” and in with my then-BF (now fiancé) a year ago. It’s such an exciting change, but it is a little sad to say goodbye to a place where you spent so many transformative years. So excited to see what’s next for you!
July 26, 2018 @ 8:10 am
Thanks so much, Carolyn!!
July 25, 2018 @ 6:25 am
congratulations on EVERYTHING! I did the exact same thing many years ago…in chicago too. I still think about how wonderful those days and that place were. xox
July 26, 2018 @ 8:10 am
Love that <3
July 25, 2018 @ 8:27 am
This post rang so true in my heart! Growth and change feel so scary at first, and usually are the things we need to come into our truest, happiest self. So excited for this new chapter for you and Adam! Thank you for sharing : )
July 26, 2018 @ 8:09 am
Amen, Catherine!! Thanks for reading!!
July 25, 2018 @ 8:47 am
Change is so different for everyone, right? I am a creature of habit and that makes moving interesting. I have moved a number of times over alot of yrs………..my last place was a 12 yr stint—wow, moving from 1 apt to a 2nd one in the same bldg.
I usually liked getting settled into a new place…….never liked the packing process or the move itself……who does?!
So moving in with my boyfriend into our first home together, then getting engaged shortly after and married…….it has been a big change for me! I was so used to living solo…………making every decision and choosing how my place was lived in. It’s totally new to me and very different. There are so many pluses and I still do miss some parts of living alone……ha, but I am so glad that I was happy to have all of it for as long as I had it!
Congrats to you!!!
July 25, 2018 @ 11:32 am
love you much LSL and so happy/awed/proud of what you’ve done in the past 5 years. cheers to a new chapter!!
July 26, 2018 @ 8:09 am
Love and miss you so much, Mere!!!
July 25, 2018 @ 5:21 pm
Such a great post! I know its about living alone, but for some reason it reminds me of the end of the era friends episode! Congrats on the new place!
http://www.themilestraveled.com
July 26, 2018 @ 8:08 am
Haha love that episode!!
July 26, 2018 @ 5:31 am
Lauren, thanks for articulating with such feeling your struggles and growth towards the strong woman you have become today. We each can identify with you with our own experiences. Wishing you the best in your new adventure. You have many friends routing for you, LSL! ??
July 26, 2018 @ 8:08 am
Aw, thank you so much Paula!