I knew I wanted to participate somehow, but it’s always so hard to figure out what to share on this big old internet, and what to keep to myself. I could talk about insecurities pertaining to physical beauty, but instead let’s dive into something else. So many bloggers look like they have their beautiful and seemingly perfect lives totally figured out, but I’m giving you proof that not all them do. At least not this one.
I recently turned 27, and this birthday felt a little different. I found myself reflecting on the past year and feeling a little down about my twenties so far. To catch all of you up, ever since I graduated college, I’ve been pursing an acting career. I’ve done countless auditions, budgeted like crazy, taken odd jobs, and set myself up for rejection on a daily basis. I wasn’t a care free twenty something most of the time, I didn’t “live it up” and go out every weekend, and I definitely dealt with the sacrifices necessary to follow my dream without a well paying job. For what?! I don’t pose that question because I regret trying. If I did then I wouldn’t still be doing it. But there are things I wish I could change. This isn’t where I imagined myself to be at this point, and I find myself feeling alone and jealous of people who seem to have everything work out for them. Jealousy and regret don’t look good on anyone though, am I right?!
So… that leaves me with two options. I can either feel down about the fact that I don’t have my life figured out yet, or I can use what I’ve learned along the way. I can be proud of what I’ve accomplished so far and I can trust that it will all lead me to exactly where I’m supposed to be. Because, here’s the thing- if I didn’t decide to study musical theater, I would never have met some of the most important and influential people in my life. I would never have pushed myself as a performer, and most importantly, I would never have learned extremely valuable lessons about myself and the way I choose to view the world and the people in it. If I didn’t struggle to get acting work, maybe I wouldn’t have gotten a job at that UWS boutique and discovered my love for fashion. Maybe I never would have decided to take a leap of faith to move back to Chicago, in which case, I wouldn’t have met my agents, gotten my current job or met some really great people. And maybe I never would have had the guts to push myself out of my comfort zone enough to start this blog. This amazing, fulfilling, and creative space. Do you see what I’m getting at here?
I used to think that a person’s worth lay in their accomplishments. If I set a goal that I couldn’t achieve, it felt a lot like failure. But, the truth is… life is full of variables that you can’t control. The more I embrace that lack of control, the better. I’ve realized that I have too much to offer to be defined by defeat. I’m finally allowing myself to live a little, have fun, and be open to new experiences. It can be scary, but sometimes putting yourself out there, or even walking out the door, is the hardest part. And, it’s crazy but the more I open myself up, the more possibilities reveal themselves.
Now you all know a little bit more about me! Ooof. But my point is this – if you feel lost, alone, or disappointed, take a deep breath. If it looks like everyone around you is ahead, or if you feel like you can’t catch a break – I’ve been there. But everyone’s journey is different. And like I said before, where you are right now might be leading you to something better than you even imagined. Fingers crossed.
Read Maya’s story, as well as the others who have linked up here.