To all my fellow people-pleasers…
Last week, a friend of mine shared this quote on Instagram and it stopped me in my tracks. For some reason, I’ve had moments recently when I’ve felt really self-conscious about what other people think of me and what I do. In a way that hadn’t even really crossed my mind in a while.
I found myself becoming so afraid of being one of those “influencers” that people roll their eyes at – for whatever reason. And to combat that, I told myself I need to work harder. I need to have a full editorial calendar at all times, create my no waste/meals for 2 people recipe ebook(s) ASAP, get mad at myself for not doing any work on my yoga videos idea yet, work out more so I look better, do this, do that, do more, do less… And I’d beat myself up when Luna got in the way of me achieving everything on my lofty to-do list this past month. My self-criticism was starting to become unproductive instead of motivating.
But then…
Then I read this quote. And I watched . And it clicked. I was putting so much pressure on myself – not because I want to do my best, but because I was worried about what other people think of me.
talks about failing a lot in her Netflix special, and it helped me remember that failing is inevitable. Everyone who takes risks WILL fail at one point or another… they just might only fail in front of their boss, their family, or best friends. I’m signing myself up to fail in front of all of you.
“A lot of cheap seats in the arena are filled with people who never venture onto the floor. They just hurl mean-spirited criticisms and put-downs from a safe distance. The problem is, when we stop caring what people think and stop feeling hurt by cruelty, we lose our ability to connect. But when we’re defined by what people think, we lose the courage to be vulnerable. Therefore, we need to be selective about the feedback we let into our lives. For me, if you’re not in the arena getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.”
The truth is, I want to be in the arena. And that means that I need to remind myself that it’s okay to fail every now and then. It also means that some people might judge me for that, because not everyone is going to like me! Even though it can seem as though likes and clicks and follows are all that matter to “influencers”, I’ve already proven that I can make a living as a blogger without millions of followers. It’s not my job to make sure that every single person who comes across this website or my Instagram page jives with me. That’s just not realistic!
A reminder to you…
I know a lot of you aren’t bloggers, and have zero intention of ever putting your lives on the internet like I do. But I also know that I had people-pleasing tendencies long before I ever started this blog. So to all of you ladies, let this be a reminder not to let what other people think of you get in the way of what you want or who you want to become. You don’t need to impress everyone you meet at all times. You don’t even need to get along with everyone you meet!
Not everyone is going to like me. Not everyone is going to like you. And that’s okay! Here’s a weird food blogger way I’m choosing to think about this topic…
Most people don’t like when brussels sprouts are lazily steamed. But when effort is put in to make them crispy, or they get a little help from garlic or bacon, they’re awesome. And yet, there will still be people who love them and people who don’t.
Is that the lamest analogy, or do you get what I’m trying to say? ?
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PS. You might also like my other Mindful Monday posts!
